


When I Restore The Balance

by jung_anders



Series: Connection Threads [8]
Category: Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Super, Dragon Ball Z
Genre: AU, Dealing With Loss, Goku is not getting hit by his head, M/M, Mental Coping, Mental therapy, Mentions of Saiyan Culture, Mentions of losing a close person, One-Sided Attraction, Other, Out of Character, References to Depression, Saiyans on Earth, work burnout
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 05:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30084039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jung_anders/pseuds/jung_anders
Summary: Written for a Kakavege week.Vegeta having a hard time, dealing with his mental issues, but his unrequited love for Kakarot is the most painful one.A part of my Connection thread AU series.
Relationships: one sided Son Goku/Vegeta
Series: Connection Threads [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842904
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11
Collections: Kakavege week #10





	When I Restore The Balance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dulcinea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dulcinea/gifts).



> When I restore the Balance - a Saiyan idiom, which means that something will never happen. According to the Saiyan tradition, an ascended person is the one, who has a perfect harmony between his mind, body, and soul. No one can reach it, right?
> 
> Talar sho danga eilarah: Io sungh, Io nugh, Io taurguh - on Saiyago it means: "Three things are connected: A body, A mind, A soul."

Vegeta soared in the clear blue skies, flying toward Achatina quarters. He had to frame his Tuesdays till the very last second due to his heavily packed schedule as a paramedic. However, if he wanted to keep his job and stabilize his mental state, he had to do this.

For an extended period, Vegeta coped with professional burnout at work and misfortunes in his personal life. He and Lazuli ended their dysfunctional relationship, which affected their teamwork. His mother, Nion, passed away during the SCEAP-20 pandemia. The long and arduous work shifts drained him, and he had no time to take care of his matters. 

When Vegeta had a meltdown during the lunch break, Piccolo suggested that he see his second cousin, Ulit. Ulit was a therapist with vast knowledge and experience working with Saiyan patients. 

At first, Vegeta got mortified at the thought of expressing his emotional state in front of a stranger. However, Ulit was patient and asked the right questions, listening carefully to Vegeta's answers. Even when Vegeta sat in front of him, staring at his sneakers, Ulit didn't push him to try and talk again. 

As time had passed, little by little, Vegeta started to share more and more personal issues with Ulit. He admitted that it was easier to talk with a third, unbiased party about his passions and struggles. 

In their previous meeting, Vegeta revealed an old rack of his. The one he concealed and nourished, hoping no one would figure out about its presence. Vegeta knew he had no chances, and this hurt him even more.

His unrequited love to Kakarot. This clown of a man with his child-like smile and happy-go-lucky attitude. His approach to life drew Vegeta nuts, but deep inside, he found it comforting. He would never say this to Kakarot, though. 

Vegeta landed next to the clinic's door, catching his breath. He glanced at his wristwatch and adjusted his backpack on his shoulders. Yes, he made it just in time. 

He pressed the doorbell button, waiting for Ulit to attend to him. After a moment, the door opened, and Vegeta came in, passing through the beaded curtain. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to adjust to the dim lights in the room. 

A soft, calm voice called from behind, "Good afternoon, Vegeta. Take a seat, please. Do you want some water?"

"Thank you, Ulit." Vegeta lowered himself on the carpet, crossing his legs and resting the backpack next to his side. He tried to keep his back straight and not to lower his gaze. 

Ulit sat in front of him, tilting his head and looking at him with his big black eyes. He was a tall, slender Namekian with sharp facial features, dressed in a long, dark-blue shirt and white harem pants. 

Ulit poured water into the glasses, "Things are getting better within your crew?" 

"More or less." Vegeta shrugged. "I assume we work better as friends and colleagues rather than mates." 

"Or, you always were friends." Ulit smiled, "You and your ex-girlfriend tried to get closer but realized you are working better as familiars. And it's normal."

"Yes, maybe." Vegeta's lower lip twitched a bit, "It's not that I had a choice. We need to work together and function as a life-saving unit." 

"And still, you managed to keep a relationship. Not a lot of people are capable of remaining friends or being civil after a breakup. It's a remarkable achievement." Ulit lowered his head a bit, "Your emotional intelligence is higher than you think of." 

"If you say so." Vegeta crossed his arms on the chest, frowning a bit. Ulit never judged his social skills, which was a rarity. 

Ulit cleared his throat a bit, "Now, if I may, let's expand the topic of your feelings toward your friend... Kakarot?" He pressed his fingers together, "If you are ready to dig in, of course." 

Vegeta held his breath and flinched. Is he ready to tear off the scab from this wound, leaving it open? Well, better now than never. He swallowed thickly, searching for words. 

After a couple of minutes, Vegeta broke the silence, "It's complicated." He rubbed his palms together, and a bead of sweat ran down his cheek. "We are friends, but also rivals, in a way." 

He let out a nervous laugh, wiping his forehead, "You know, Ulit...I achieved a lot in my life, but looking at Kakarot, I understand that I'm always behind him no matter what I'll do." Vegeta grabbed the glass, squeezing it a bit, "Yes, I thought it was mere jealousy, but it's deeper. Much deeper, Ulit." 

He drained his glass and drew a long breath, "I don't know if it's admiration, a craving for physical intimacy, envy, or a blind passion. Maybe it's an overall mix. Yet, it's devouring me from the inside, Ulit. It's driving me crazy." 

Ulit nodded, taking some notes, "It's natural to feel a mix of intense emotions at once, especially in such a delicate case. How long are you facing these emotions?"

Vegeta placed the glass on the carpet, "I have no idea, to be honest. Since our first meeting, I assume. We met at the gym and had a friendly match which ended up in a draw." He let out a dry cough, "The more I got to know him, the passion became stronger." He banged his fist on the carpet, "That bastard!"

"M-hm." Ulit put aside his notebook, getting ready for the possible burst of energy or a meltdown. He avoided using his healing powers on patients without their consent, but he had to be prepared when they lost it. 

Vegeta sniffed, pressing his lips together. Damn, is he going to cry? Or is he going to pass out? Not again!

Ulit leaned a bit forward, "Do you want more water?" He moved the glass closer to him, "The pillow is behind your back if you want to rest a bit." 

Vegeta nodded, blinking and taking a deep breath, "This is nothing. However," He stammered, "C-can we shift to another subject for now?" 

"Of course." Ulit gave him a worried look. The view of Saiyan men writhing in pain on the floor and crying in anguish wasn't a rarity during a therapy session. Oh, the devaluing mentality of "stay strong and move on!" This toxic approach had ruined many people's lives. 

When the therapy session over, Vegeta shuffled outside the clinic, closing the door behind. Just a slight touch on the subject managed to knock him off his feet. Perhaps, it was too early. 

A line from _Ahipa_ sacred book flashed in his mind:

_Talar sho danga eilarah: Io sungh, Io nugh, Io taurguh._

His nation lost this sacred connection, which led to their decline and their home planet's destruction. To regain their physical power and inner strength, the Saiyans had to learn how to feel again. Even he, the prince, had an infirm bonding between these three.

His mobile phone vibrated in his pocket, making him shudder. Vegeta pulled it out, checking the phone call, and his heart dropped for a second. It was Kakarot. 

Vegeta accepted the call, answering in a hoarse voice, "Yes?"

"Oh, hey there, Geets!" A bubbly voice burst from the phone dynamics, "We are hanging out today? Just making sure it's today because, you know, my memory is not the best, hahaha!" 

_No, I can't meet him today_. _I can't!_

"Yes, we are." Vegeta rubbed his forehead.

_I'll face my fears like a true Saiyan._

"We are meeting in the Pro-Shake bar, 8:00 pm?" 

"Yep! There is nothing like a good protein shake after a productive training!" Kakarot laughed, "See you there!"

He has time to train, huh? That lucky bastard.

_***_

"Geets! Hey! Woo-hoo!" Kakarot waved his palm in front of Vegeta's nose, "Do you hear me?"

"Huh?" Vegeta shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Did you said something?" He glared at his strawberry milkshake, "The music here is too loud." 

_Maybe coming here was a wrong decision after all._

"I wanted to ask you about the doctor you are visiting." Kakarot took another gulp from his chocolate-banana milkshake, perching on the chair.

"He is not a doctor; he is a mental therapist." Vegeta narrowed his eyes, "Why are you asking?"

Does Kakarot need mental health treatment? Of all people?

"Yeah? There is a difference?" Kakarot scratched the back of his neck, "I'm asking for my mom. She needs to talk to someone who is not us about Raditz." He glared at the window, holding the straw between his nose and upper lip.

"Hmph." Vegeta took a sip from his milkshake, "You mean to talk to a professional?"

"Yesh!" Kakarot dropped the straw back into the empty glass, "Mom is sitting next to Raditz _eidha_ and crying all day." He let out a sad sigh, "Caulifla, aunt Seripa, Chichi, and I tried everything to cheer her up!"

"I see." Vegeta focused on the half-melted ice cube in his glass. It was the first time that Kakarot talked about his family since Raditz's cremation. "I'll send you the number of Ulit. He is a licensed therapist and knows what to do." 

"Sweet beans!" Kakarot hugged Vegeta's shoulders, and he had to make a titanic effort not to pull back, "Ya're a true friend!" 

Vegeta gave him a crooked smile, " _Merath_ Gine is a kind and virtuous woman. She needs assistance in these hard times." 

"Agree." Kakarot let go of Vegeta, "Hey! I almost forgot; I'm going to Yardrat soon! Ya know, to unwind a bit?"

"Searching for enlightenment, I assume?" Vegeta let out a sardonic chuckle, sipping from his lukewarm milkshake. Uh, hideous.

"Nah, it's not an enl...eligh...How did you say that again?" Kakarot winced, "Whatever it means. Yardrat is an awesome place, and the locals are so relaxed and nice! You and I have to travel together one day." 

"Yes, one day." Vegeta echoed, peering into the window, It was an early evening, and the street lights gleamed like stars. People strolled down the streets, walking their dogs or making their evening run. 

Kakarot slid from the chair and stretched his arms, "Okay, I gotta go now. Mom asked me to return home earlier to help her to organize the butchery for tomorrow. Take care!" 

He patted Vegeta on the shoulder and went out of the bar. 

The radio behind the bar counter played the song "Chasing Rainbows" by Anais. Her clear and melancholic voice filled the space, singing about her wish to catch a rainbow, despite the infinite distance between them. 

Vegeta stirred the remains of the milkshake in his glass, realizing he is not ready to face Kakarot, confessing his feelings. Would he ever dare to? He'll reach the balance first. 

Vegeta tossed the straw into a trash can and got up from the chair.

A good nap will make everything better.


End file.
